After meeting your boyfriend, were you surprised because he plays video games a lot with his friends, sleeps at any time, and doesn’t pay his bills? Surely you thought that this behavior would be temporary but you gave him some time and he still doesn’t change? You may be in front of an immature person and you are invaded by disappointment since you will feel that the type of relationship you have goes against your life project.
Do you want to save your relationship? Help your boyfriend to grow up with the following tips.
Order your Mind
Before talking seriously with him, organize your thoughts highlighting those attitudes that annoy you about your boyfriend but always giving your reasons. Perhaps writing will help you with this goal in a more satisfactory way so that when you have the conversation, you can get to the point and not forget anything.
If inside you, you were thinking about a future with him, open his eyes and explain what you are looking for in that relationship, your future actions will depend on what he has to say.
Communication is Important
Now comes the moment to put into words those thoughts that you need to say, i. e., inform him of what are those things that he does that you do not like. Remember that if you want everything to go well, you should not lose patience, i. e., do not insult him because, from an ‘adult’ couple conversation, it will turn into a children’s fight.
It is advisable not to talk in his house or apartment, choose a place outdoors and that is at a time when neither of you is in a hurry. Make him feel that what you have to say is affecting you but do not cry, do not yell, and always use the ” I feel … ”.
If you See Positive Changes, Tell Him Too
You must know that changes take time and if you love him, you will give him that time he needs to change, avoid criticizing him and constantly be behind him to do things.
When you start to see those changes, even if they are tiny, praise him with beautiful words so he knows that you appreciate his effort. Let him know that you are happy to know that he is also interested in saving the relationship. Surely it will sound like when a mother praises her son for having done something that she asked him, but yes, it is like that, he must grow and you must help him, just remember that no one is perfect, not even you.
Think About the Consequences of your Boundaries
If you’ve decided that the relationship is worth it, be patient. Try to create an environment that encourages his emotional growth, but without pressure. However, if what you understand is that change is impossible without his involvement and professional help, avoid the suffering and let him go. Find someone with your same thoughts.
If your boyfriend is struggling to grow, implement these tips. Sometimes you indeed end up in a person’s life to have the perfect opportunity to help them. But if on the way you discover that, far from helping him, you are hurting yourself; maybe the best thing is to walk away.