Marriages are difficult. When you commit someone to stay with them for your entire life and take care of them, mean it. Although where nothing is possible and both the partners have mutually decided to not be together, is a different story. But, one should note that expecting too much and thinking of an ideal relationship is not good. It only ends up filling us up with more negativity and regret. No marriage can be ideal. There would be fights, differences, and perhaps long periods of silence from both sides.
If you are a couple who have already spent some time together, you must agree to this. While, if you are just starting with your marriage, you must remember it. Every other hurdle should not be a reason to give up your partner. No person is perfect. Although in actual life, couples often feel fed up with each other and cannot see how to go ahead. Hence, it becomes important to take a pause and rediscover your relationship. It is in such time that starting over helps. Remember, just a set of wedding vows taken years ago cannot help spend a fulfilling life. Read ahead to know how to start over in your marriage.
How to Start Over in a Marriage?
1. Be patient and remember to not rush into it. If you both feel it is best to stay apart for a while, do so. Rushing into starting over only ends up making things worse. When you feel it is the right time, try asking your spouse for a discussion.
2. Agree on the foundational values of your relationship. The first thing you need to do is to set the values on which you both would start over. Discuss and decide on few values which you both cannot compromise at all. These could be loyalty, respect, etc.
3. Figure out what is best for the situation. Yes, as mentioned earlier, for marriages only a set of vows cannot help spend a fulfilling life. You must need to do what is right in the situation. For instance, if you both might plan for a child soon, start nurturing your relationship and finances according to it. You do not need to set up strict rules or promises. Take it as one step at a time. Set up smaller goals with your partner and figure out what to do for them.
4. Keep a little time every other day, just for the two of you. Even if you are a busy couple, or even if you do not stay together, this is possible. Try finding a common time when you both are available, preferably in the early morning or the night. You both can sit together or be on call for a while. Try talking about your day and catching up with your partner. This does not have to be hours long. Even 15-20 minutes every other day is good.
Remember, marriages work only if respect and communication are there. We often ignore these two as we take our partner for granted. But, to build a nurturing relationship for the long term, you need to understand that your spouse is a human too. Even if you disagree or fight, a sense of respect should be there.
