LIVING WITH A NARCISSISTIC FATHER

Do you hedge your bets around your father?

Do you hate sharing the best moments of your life with him?

Does your father have the power to destroy your peace?

Is bearing taunts, listening to sass-mouthing comments, or crying a daily habit of yours?

If the response to the hereinbefore inquiries is yes, then you are living with a narcissistic father.

A narcissistic father did not come into existence for torture. But some circumstances in his life shaped him to hurt his children.

 

NARCISSISTIC TRAITS IN YOUR FATHER:

  1. Excessive self-importance
  2. Wants appreciation and adoration ALL THE TIME
  3. Constantly bickers about what you should do or not do in life.
  4. He TREATS his children like rags, beggars, or incompetent individuals – even though – they are fully grown adults.

  1. ANYTHING can trigger him into blown-out-of-proportion aggression.
  2. FIXATION on the faults of his children. He LOVES to find defects in his children.
  3. He constantly reminds his children of how they are not living according to his terms and conditions in the house.
  4. Ambitious to the point of total neglect to his growing children.
  5. He LOVES to differentiate between his children. He has classified a child as a scapegoat (someone who has to bear most of the taunts and criticism, does not get love or appreciation). And another child as a golden child (someone who gets all the love and relish. Never has to bear taunts or criticism).
  6. Every conversation with him is a selfish motive that only satisfies his whims, fancies, desires, and notions.

 

CONTROL FREAK OF THE FAMILY

You can call a narcissistic father the most controlling parent in the family. He gets so controlling that not only career choices but also the dressing choice gets controlled. Be it your sitting position, working style, or even for that matter, the way you speak gets controlled/ modified/ discouraged all the time.

 

FAMILY MEMBERS OF A NARCISSISTIC FAMILY-

  • NARCISSISTIC FATHER

He controls everything in the family since he is the HEAD of the family.

 

  • ORBITING SPOUSE

Everything in her world revolves around her narcissistic husband. His wrongs are her rights.

 

  • SCAPEGOAT 

She is the rebellious child of the family. She knows that her family is dysfunctional. Scapegoat is the only SANE person in the family who can differentiate right from wrong.

 

  • GOLDEN CHILD

He is the perfect copy of the narcissistic father. He follows the pathways of his abusive father. And, anybody who says otherwise is cruel, demeaning, or ugly.

 

 FIVE WAYS TO COPE WITH NARCISSISTIC ABUSE:

  • TOTAL IGNORANCE

Ignorance is the new name for bliss. Else, a narcissistic father can make sure to spoil everything you ardently love with all your heart.

 

  • A TOTAL ABSENCE OF CONTACT

Having no contact or minimal contact with the narcissistic father will not make him realize his mistakes. But will give you the much-wanted peace of mind.

 

  • SAYING YES TO EVERYTHING

 Thinking that your narcissistic father is right all the time is a key to receiving a smaller number of taunts. At the minimum, for the day.

 

  • DISTANCING FOR GOOD

As far as is practicable, slip out of the house. You cannot live with your narcissistic father all your life.

 

  • NEVER TAKE HIM TO HEART.

 His personality can affect the pattern in which you think, feel, or live, no matter what you do. So, never take him to your beautiful heart.